Final Reflection
Dear Marlen,
Before I came to your class, I was a lost eighteen-year old in a college atmosphere that I thought I was not ready for. Everybody had given up hope on me after one semester once I had gotten placed on academic probation with my 1.48 GPA. Then the second semester came along and I had your class. I remember standing outside your classroom door terrified to walk inside. I did not want to fail at another class. I kept walking past the classroom, down the hall, and wanting to get the fuck out of Leonard Hall. I went and had a cigarette out on the front stoop due to my nerves trembling with fear.
Time began to pass by and I was counting down the minutes till I knew class was going to start. It was either the stimulant of the nicotine in the cigarette or I grew a set, but I had this overwhelming confidence after stepping out of my body and looking at the situation brought to my attention. I was being blinded by my own ignorance. There was no reason to be afraid; it was a fresh start to a new semester. I was going to walk into that classroom and be the best fucking student that I knew was in me all along!
Even though you may not know it; you have taught me so much in life. You gave me a chance when nobody else did. You always made class exciting. This is why I came every single day. I believe that you can relate to all of us, because you get to know us first and then actually care about our work. This in turn makes us care about our work because of your dedication to the class. I never had a teacher do anything like this for me. This was the class that saved my academic career. When I would do well in your class, it inspired me to work harder in my other classes also. I have tried to explain this feeling through my rap, Cornfield Paradise, and in my autoethnography but it just seems impossible to explain completely. I have to live it, I have to show the world what you have taught me, and I will.
I find myself telling my friends stories about your class and they just seem jealous once I do. I have never been excited to get homework in a class before. I have never wanted to go to a class. Your class was different from any other. The work was thought provoking, the classes were always fun, and I just enjoyed my days there. I wish every class could be like that. In that case I would leave IUP straight A’s. I am excited to use what you have taught me in my English class next year and even more excited with the new inspiration you have brought to my life. I can never thank you enough. I hope to take another class from you next year and be a Course Assistant for your English 101 class. I want to show freshman next year what I learned and how influential this class really has been on my life.
Sincerely,
Brock A. Kawana
